If he walks through the front door of your home with the same mind-set he has at work, his sense of entitlement to authority and control carries over to you. The books call it hyper-vigilance -- they are so used to having to be mentally and physically prepared for every possible scenario during their work hours in order to possibly preserve the lives of the public and their own, that it is impossible to switch off. You want to be recognized as competent. I started looking into the topic after a friend told me a curious story. A depressing fact is you could also likely lose your police spouse to suicide in addition to whatever dangers they may encounter in their line of work.
A LOT of the time you will be solo parenting, and frequently it will be unplanned. He may warn you that "accidents happen" — people get hit by cars, houses burn down, cars explode. New content policy calls for friendship marriage.